Suppose that your weird New Age guru friend downtown gave you a mysterious blender.

And then suppose that you put a video poker machine, some self-help books, a couple of mimographed D&D character sheets, and your old dead Tamagotchi into the blender. And then you hit the "pulse" button a few time and poured out a video game. Well, you might end up with something like Ascension Jamboree.

You'll play as a being trying your darnedest to ascend to the next level of existence. Will you be a rock? Will you be a dolphin? Who knows? I mean, other than your weird friend downtown. They probably know.

This game is largely about making decisions with incomplete information. (Well, it is, in the author's mind.) So it seems fitting that you not get much detail about how it works. But you'll figure it out. You'll dig yourself some holes and you'll climb your way out. Life, man. Amirite?

This should be playable on your tablet or computer. But phones are just too small. Phones, man.

(The controls, via mouse or keyboard, are easy to discover. But here's one control that you might not notice on your own: Hitting the Escape key will return you to the title screen.)